he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
