we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
