Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
