if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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