is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
