even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
