I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
