i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
