Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Randomize
