i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
