i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
organizing the empties. That sober.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
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