Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
