So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
