what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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