who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
