I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
