Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
