Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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