How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
