the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
