now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
