Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
this hospital has no fireball
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
