i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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