That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
sarcasm needs its own font
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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