what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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