and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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