rhymes with "ouble enetration"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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