you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
