dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
