singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
