They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
