clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
