am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
