found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I have post one night stand depression
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