you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
