I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
