it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
they're like a gay fantastic four
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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