please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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