Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
