he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
and she was petting her beer can
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
