it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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