I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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