Is it normal to miss your booty call?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
