The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
