I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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