Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I think my vagina is haunted
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
