took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
