at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
