bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
