Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
