i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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